Thursday, April 6, 2017

Told you! Animal Ventriloquism = Higher Native Intelligence

I knew this kid in grade school who did not attend public school with us. His parents had him tested at a young age and found he was a prodigy. Unlike my poor, single parent mother they had the financial resources to homeschool him. We struck up a conversation while buying comic books on Saturday at 7-11 and quickly became good friends. I used to rush over to his house just to use his pinball machine and read his huge comic collection. He had electronic games like Simon and Football with a bunch of accelerated learning toys. We had excellent conversations about everything.

One afternoon his dog walked in and he began speaking for it. It was so perfectly synchronized to the dog's actions it really seemed like the dog was speaking. I was astonished. I thought only I did this with pets and sometimes even inanimate objects. Cats were opaque to me, I could not guess what they were thinking the way I could with dogs. It is like I could not sync that telepathic protocol with cats. This kid was practically making the dog's lips move. It is like this kid remoted into his dog's brain and was seeing through it's eyes. This is how I felt when I did it. It is a solitary hunting skill you would expect of a race of men who often hunt alone for their families. Up until that moment, I had never encountered another child or adult who could do it. I have never encountered anyone since then who could do it the way I do. My children often try and I think they get it sometimes but they have seen me do it their whole lives.

These are Neanderthal genes. It could not be more obvious. Animal ventriloquism is a unique phenomenon seen in prodigy children. Sometimes they grow out of it, others like me never do.

I really liked that kid. He was one of my best friends. His parents divorced and he moved away. Not long after that I seemed to lose the knack of making "friends" and never got it back.

In terms of evolutionary fitness, forming these kinds of bonds with one's dogs could be a critical survival skill during the last Grand Minimum Ice Age. Your dogs would see through your eyes and they see through yours. When you are vigilant, your dogs are vigilant and the reverse is true. Your dogs sense what you want them to do and they sense what you are going to do.


Alan Gould said...

Your blog's messing with me again, Tex. Effortless understanding of and communication with animals was one of many things that set me apart as a child, though I was better at seeing through the eyes of wild animals, birds in particular. On one occasion, this affinity surely saved my life. Can't do it that well anymore, but am weirded out to learn that you too have experience of this phenomenon. Reading you sometimes makes me very anxious and sick, and the room starts spinning. Old emotions and associations get stirred. Strange stuff.

mobius wolf said...

You think it's that uncommon? I guess it must be.
Maybe it wasn't when people worked with their dogs more.
Call me Dog Boy.

Dexsquab Molutinator said...

Had a conversation with my cat. Little bugger cracked a damn joke.

cheddarman said...

My mom did that with the family dog. She also did it when we adopted a cat. I thought she was looney, Tex. Thanks for sharing that. I am going to tell her this is a sign of high intelligence.

cheddarman said...

My mom did that with the family dog. She also did it when we adopted a cat. I thought she was looney, Tex. Thanks for sharing that. I am going to tell her this is a sign of high intelligence.

Ave said...

I woof therefore I am. Now feed me.

podrag said...

I had a Pharoanic Egyptian flatmate once who literally talked to his cat and the cat would acknowledge what he said with meows. It was totally astonishing. He would give it specific orders and it would be like 'yes sir' in cat language.

I'm good with doggies. They always run up to me and want to play around and they're always super interested whenever I walk past. Their owners always look so embarrassed! Cats not so much.

Aeoli Pera said...

I don't have this thing, though I do get along with dogs better than average. Then again, my IQ is only about 135-140.

Lugh said...

Some cats try to talk sometimes - it sounds like the old Scooby Doo cartoon. Nothing to do with their usual meows and yowls. They do it when they are trying to explain why they are moving in and why they must be allowed to.