If you ever think I sound like a real weirdo, you should see the sum total of statistics regarding my demographic. The chances of somebody like me living to see 50 is astronomical.
If you added up the suicide rates of adult males with Aspergers Syndrome, combat veterans, my native IQ and personality type you'd see the suicide rate is around 99.999999999%. I would guess that I am the anomalous 0.000000001%.
Yet I have never even contemplated suicide seriously one day in my entire life and I have had rough days. Suicide just never was an option, ever, for any reason.
I think true Neanderthals, like pimps, never commit suicide. It is opposite their inherent nature.
I've had days in my life I was starving, homeless, loveless and broke with few options and almost no prospects. I can remember seeing the sun come up in the morning on those days and thanking God for my life. I'd always think how grateful I was. With as much ugliness as there is on Earth, there is always great beauty that dwarfs it in contrast and there will always be an innate goodness in everything that is a reflection of our creator.
Incidentally, according to statistics if you have an IQ over 160 the single most important thing you can do to avoid ending up in a body bag before you are 40 is to become a Christian. Reality sucks but there you have it, sorry. Nothing compares but marriage runs a close second to keeping you out of the worm cafeteria. I'm just the messenger, don't blame me.