Monday, December 28, 2015

Melonheads Ruled The Planet With A Worldwide Seafaring Empire

The indians told settlers from Europe they had just missed them a few generations earlier.

Again and again, red-haired blankets were discovered to be coveted by Indian tribes as proof of their victory over the former race, which every generation knew had been shorn from the heads of their dead enemies. These blankets were sent to the Smithsonian Museum and have never been seen since, despite being documented in newspaper articles and even photographs from the 1800's. Anything melonhead related you can rely on it vanishing as soon as it comes to their notice.

'Indian policy' has now been brought down upon the American people, and the American people are the new Indians of the 21st Century.
Russell Means


bicebicebice said...

I wonder what would happen if you put a random white man with red hair in an indian reservation, parachuted from the sky. For this experiment we need the following: aka leg lengthening surgery aka melonhead planking some eye surgery or anime eyes/baby doll contacts

Should also pump him up with steroids. I wonder if they could tell the fake from the real deal. It would also be interesting to "disguise" an already existing melonhead.

bicebicebice said...

Also in regards to melonhead experiment: neckrings

Edward said...

Selectively interbreed up to a high enough concentration of Neanderthal DNA, then create the right fetal hormonal environment and subsequent specialised diet and you could probably grow one of us pretty big without any explicit genetic modifications, though it might take a while to reach full maturity. We should be 8-10 feet tall I reckon, and much more robust.