Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Cover It With Plastic And Spray Detroit : Improvamentation Gone Wild

Edjamafacashun can't seem to solve the problems our ancestors solved with ease.

You remember bedbugs. They were a big problem during the Dark Ages. People used to call Mexico a hellhole because all the hotels had them. They really had not been seen in the Western world since the very start of the 20th century. After all, hot water (like the kind that used to come out of boilers before energy conservation set all the dials back) kills them and their eggs easily at around 120 degrees.

One of the reasons they were a problem in the Dark Ages is that hot water was in short supply. Kind of like in the West now. We have to conserve energy. It seems to be leaking away and we don't seem to be generating much of it anymore so we have to conserve it. It is as if we had one candle and after it goes out, we have to go back to living in darkness forever. So we really, really, really have to conserve this candle because we can never get another one. After all they banned incandescent bulbs so it is not like we are going to be able to read by electric light.

Improvamentation really does improvament everything through the enrichmentation process. Everything is massively improvamented everywhere you look.

Remember, Detroit was the inspiration for the Jetsons cartoon. It used to be a chrome and padded leather paradise, just like Rhodesia which got improvamented shortly before they improvamented Detroit. Just before the flight out of Detroit began, the Detroit city hall was trialing a new system of lamp posts that gave visitors talking directions. They thought the expense was justified because the city was an international hub of commerce with industrial conventions year round. I can't help but wonder of the irony of some post-apocalyptic scavenger hitting one of these posts a century from now with an animal bone and suddenly this hundred year old prerecorded tape announcing in a cheerful mellifluous 1950's voice that the nearest hotel is a block away.

1 comment:

aeolipera said...

Bulldoze the city and put in a nuclear reactor, surrounded by a military base.