Monday, February 10, 2014

Melonheads Confirmed As The Third Hominid!!!

I believed I would be vindicated by DNA testing in the near future and I was right. 

People will take a long time to realize the significance of what has been uncovered here.

The third hominid is the answer to all the other questions. The third hominid is the prime mover, the essential pivot point that explains what otherwise would be a mystery about the other two.

When we ask who is the Neanderthal? Who is Homo Sapiens? We will never know the answers to those questions unless we are willing to contemplate the idea that neither one of those races was the dominant ruling class on this planet for a million years. The melonheads were.

What happened to the Neanderthals happened because they were the nearest thing to potential competitors that the melonheads had ever seen. They resolved to nip that problem in the bud and tried three different methods beginning around 120,000 years ago.

1. A genetically engineered virus designed to target Neanderthals. Failed. Mutated, backfired and killed more Melonheads and their slaves than Neanderthals. We have antibodies to this day to this supervirus, if you are of European descent you have antibodies in your system right now that would still kick in to protect you from being exposed to this virus. I hate to think what happened to the melonhead who proposed this brilliant strategy but it didn't work out correctly at all.

2. Okay, they brainstormed for a while through several generations and then they decided that Neanderthals would not survive a long term solar blackout compared with the deep refuges of the Melonheads and their monolithic structures. They detonated an implosion device in the supervolcano at Toba around 80,000 years ago. The Toba supervolcano caldera is the only one of its kind on the planet, consisting of a huge vaporized sphere that opened the eruption beneath it. The Sun was blacked out for twenty years and even the melonheads were starving by the time the surface was inhabitable again. They then discovered that the Neanderthals had been building fantastic subterranean tunnels that ran the length of Europe and reached as far as Turkey. Turns out the Neanderthals were the most incredible survivalists of all time and several decades of no summers and no sun rolled off their backs like water off a duck. The melonheads realized that after a million years of routine hibernation the Neanderthals were probably better equipped than they were to survive such an event.

3. The melonhead who suggested the drastic Toba plan probably took a long walk off a short plank and his successor knew he'd better get it right this time. They planned and researched for a long time before they made their final powerpoint presentation to the general committee. They proposed developing a new bioweapon on two legs from a mixture of their slave classes, genes from Neanderthals and some rhesus monkeys as well as some other odd junk that science still is having trouble trying to figure out how that could possibly be in our genome. The new  creature would be customized for only one real purpose in life and that would be to exterminate Neanderthals one-by-one, even pursuing them into their caves on foot if necessary. They would breed like rabbits and be so regimented and autocratic they would scarcely even be called human. They would simply sweep Europe starting at the southern tip and when the job was done, all kinds of safety locks were introduced into their genetic design that would make certain they would never be able to organize themselves into anything formidable enough to challenge melonhead rule. One of these safety measures was to sever the corpus callosum between the left and right halves of the brain so that they would still be capable of very complex behaviors but would never really be able to integrate their consciousness.

The third solution worked like a charm except for one glitch. The Sapiens took the beautiful Neanderthal women as war captives and the children were made into a permanent slave caste. This became a self-reinforcing adaptive mechanism because of all the feuding Sapiens tribes it was the ones with the huge Neanderthal slave populations that easily overcame everyone else. In short order the Neanderthals were mythologized as the Tuatha De Danann and widely credited later as being the source of all craft, civilization and progress even as the Neanderthal hybrids were reduced to chattel subsistence for countless tens of thousands of years. The 'Thal was a despised creature treated with less respect than a dog, forbidden to look anyone in the eyes and likely made to sleep on the open ground outside the village at night. In the day, their clever hands manufactured weapons that were infinitely superior to those that humans could make themselves and then the 'Thals were deployed as shock troops at the start of every battle to soften up the opposition for easy conquests of tribes with no Neanderthal slaves of their own. The smartest tribes probably sent their 'Thal hounds in at night in surprise raids on other villages because their night vision was better and the 'Thal could fight extremely well at the witching hour for a variety of reasons, not least of which the projectile weapons which had originally killed them at a distance were useless in darkness. This gave rise to legends of the Neanderthals as werewolves and night spirits who were intensely feared by peoples who had no such soldiers in their own tribes.

In the modern era, all the subconscious relationships between the three groups persist to this day. Melonheads and Sapiens automatically think of the Neanderthal as their conquered servants even though their entire existence depends on his innovativeness, problem solving ability and creative energies. The Neanderthal is a kind of "living ghost" who leads a rootless, transient existence offering his labor whenever people are desperate enough to require it (which is often) in all major technical, mechanical, scientific and engineering tasks. The 'Thals either break their chains and achieve independence or else they are their brother's servant, as Isaac elegantly prophesizes to his son Esau as a metaphor in Genesis. Civilizations settle into a predictable pattern lasting roughly 200 years divided into ten generations of men. The first 100 years the Neanderthals build everything up ... and the second 100 years the melonheads and their slaves proceed to tear it all to pieces and bring it down. The net result for history is a recurring tragedy that goes nowhere and never achieves any lasting progress in anything.

The entire planet suffered some enormous upheaval around 12,000 years ago that took a huge toll on the existing social order and in the ten millennia that followed the melonheads were never able to achieve the levels of control they had previously, although pharaonic Egypt came close for a while. By the time the Romans enslaved the Greeks and started their reich the whole human population was starting to lose the brain mass they had stolen through the organized rape of the Neanderthal woman and intelligence was in sharp decline everywhere. The minor dawn of the Renaissance and Enlightenment peaked in a nadir that was the briefest yet in the history of world civilizations and it was rapidly becoming apparent that "the future" was an increasingly difficult organization to provide staffing for. The long term trend was down and back to the mud for the human gene pool and some days it looked like a race to the bottom for everyone. The only real hope for mankind was the end of the Holocene and a return to a colder planet that selected for sharper minds instead of just sharper tongues.


live and learn said...

Possibility of creating a neanderthal clone.

live and learn said...

Tex do you know of any good IQ test that can be taken over the internet?

Henry said...

I am impressed. The long-term intellectual cojones required to think along these lines is rare.

Thanks for posting it.

Ted Walther said...

Speaking in terms of archetypes:

Conehead = vampire
Neanderthal = werewolf
Cro-Magnon = zombie

Sounds like a rock/paper/scissors social setup.

Michelle said...

I'd like to read a good story like that. Heck, I'd like to write that into a good story myself. That was pretty interesting. You really are one of the most original thinkers on the 'tubes.

kkrev said...

The modern relevance of your whole theory hinges on the phrenology stuff. Why is there no quantitative model? There must be relevant metrics from the facial recognition software folks as well as from orthopedists.

With the right metrics a good experiment could run. Pictures could be put through software to measure skulls and some online psychometric tests could be issued. I think it could be done quite well for free entirely over the internet.

Until the ball gets rolling on such research I have to assume you're mostly crazy even if there might be some truths.

Texas Arcane said...


You obviously just arrived and started to argue with a straw man that isn't on this blog. Sounds like you heard about this blog from somebody else, came here and skipped reading anything on it and went straight to claiming I am crazy.

Phrenology has nothing to do with much of anything on this blog. Why don't you read a little more and find out what exactly is being talked about on here.

live and learn said...

The possibility of them being an alien race is reasonable. It would make the early parts of the old testament make more sense.

John said...

Great stuff Tex. I've been thinking a lot about the plumed Muppet-dinosaurs and the nature of the interaction between ancient species. The conventional view of the natural world as a brutal zero-sum environment only makes sense in light of who devised it. In reality, it could never have been like that for very long at all, for obvious reasons.

Penman was kind enough to send me a sneak peak at one of his upcoming books and it's tying in nicely with some of the things I'm reading and thinking about. Have you taken a look at those chapters? I'm curious to hear what you think. I've also been reading Price's Nutrition and Physical Degeneration, and I guess my general query is whether or not mass civilization is sustainable or even desirable.

Texas Arcane said...


The more I think about the gulf between the way the dinosaur is portrayed and the likely reality (mostly placid with the occasional apex predator as today) the more I think it was always humans projecting themselves onto the dinosaurs as a psychological phenomenon. It wasn't dinosaurs eternally killing each other pointlessly, it was always mankind that was like this.

Although they had raptors like we have lions, the truth is most dinosaurs on land died of old age, hunger or simple accidents. Instead of taking turns roaring at each other they were more likely to have clucked and clacked like songbirds. I would bet anything that sitting and watching a herd of dinosaurs graze all day would be as relaxing as watching cattle in the fields. I also expect they were quite beautiful as so many herbivores are with very colorful plumages of feathers all over.

Lugh said...

Dinosaurs as muppets wearing gaily colored feathered boas? What next! But what about those big pointy teeth some of them had...

But yes, damn good news about the Ice Age. As Lord Burley said to Liz inside the confessional, "All things move in our favor." The Sapiens are weakening as have the Humanoids thru contact with them. They may never come North again to bother us. As Horgbiger (Sp? I'm remembering this from John Keels "Our Haunted Planet") said, "Our Ancestors grew strong in the ice and snow and so shall we."

AUSSIE said...

Once you accept that Homo Sapien is the "exception", the "odd one" like an aberration, an unfortunate accident of nature with ongoing serious consequences for the planet lots of "stuff" begins to fall into place. I remember a decade ago when I was voicing this oopinion on the net I was hunted and howled down as a human hater. Now I feel vindicated!

Chunkations said...

I dont believe these results because they would make human hybrids impossible. We know they are possible because we see them around us.