Sunday, May 13, 2012

God Selling Membership Vouchers Again!

Oh wait, I meant the Catholics are selling them on his behalf, as part of his franchise!

Just another reason I am proud I was born and raised a Catholic. Nothing beats super Jeebus points for racking up those frequent flyer miles in Heaven. Where the other religions fall over is when it comes to selling exemptions for sins with cold, hard cash. I guess Christ was wrong ... a rich man can pass through the eye of the needle into heaven ... if he's got wads of green in both fists when he's doing it. The eagle flies every payday for the magical Jeebus bus of indulgences and tax-free donations. There's mud in your eye, Martin Luther! Wait, I just thought of another way to expand our profits! Let's accuse random people of witchcraft and then seize all their property while we torture them!

I guarantee you Jesus Christ is doing a goggle-eyed doubletake right now ... "I don't even ... what? How do you get this from Sermon on the Mount? I'm supposed to be the jew! These people just make me feel tired."


The Great and Powerful Oz said...

You can't take it with you, but you can have it waiting for you when you arrive! Send cash, checks, money orders to: ...

JimBob said...

Whore of Babylon

Texas Arcane said...

I helped move some church goods in uptown New York around '91-'92 I think for this guy I used to work for intermittently.

You should have seen the stuff the church takes off widows and fools and keeps in the basement for centuries. Indiana Jones never stumbled across a treasure trove of this magnitude in his life. I loaded stuff onto a truck that was probably worth a million bucks in my hand. What the church keeps in storage of their ill-gotten loot could buy a caddie for every leper in Calcutta any time they wanted to cash it in.

JimBob said...

Norman Finkelstein - Political scientist - BBC HARDtalk 2012

So what happens if American Jews fall out of love with Israel? That's what the Jewish American academic Norman Finkelstein claims is happening. He says they are now so unhappy with what Israel is doing that they want to distance themselves from the country. But then he is nothing if not controversial. He, after all, is famous for accusing Jews of exploiting the Holocaust. And his actions have so incensed Israel it's banned him from entering the country. Could he be right and if he is what does that mean for Middle East policy?

Greenbean said...

Have you actually read the article? Indulgences are not being sold for money.

Indulgences never really left the scene and the article is pure crap. It consists in advising the faithfull to do charity in order to atone for sins through good works:

It is the NY times. Or as Celente calls it, "the toilet paper of records". Not surprising you would use it though, everything that screams anti-catholic is good enough for you. It doesn't matter if it isn't true, right? Lies are alright for the followers of Luther and Calvin. Money is too, just ask televangelists.

Greenbean said...

Jimbob, here are the true "whores of babylon":

Anglican gay marriage:

Lutheran diversity cult:

Calvinist celebration of sodomy:

I could go on if you wish.

J.M. said...

Well Luther made the witchhunting the national sport of Germany and Queen Elizabeth killed more believers than what the Inquisition could do in all its centuries, let alone Cauvin who burned at the stake or exiled whoever dared to opposed him.

Please check the facts before you even claim to know what is catholic

Greenbean said...

J.M: It is much worse than that. Luther was the biggest fraud and devil worshipper to ever live. One needs to have his ass far inside a rectum in order to admire him, let alone follow him.

Greenbean said...

Behold, the theology of Martin Luther:

"No sin will separate us from the lamb, even though we commit fornication and murder a thousand times a day."

"Sin is not held against us for Christ's sake."

"Your sin cannot cast you into hell."

"No sin can harm me."

No wonder protestant churches are debauched enough to make Vatican II church look good.