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Sunday, April 1, 2012

You Knew There Were Going To Be Zombies

I only felt terror when I realized they would be Ugandan zombies. Up to that point I was like ... yawn ... zombies ... sure, I was expecting that.

... but ... Ugandan zombies. If you've ever seen a Lamberto Bava movie, you know just how terrifying black people shuffling along in their underwear with their heads turned down can be. The most frightening zombie of them all. Luckily it takes them like a month to walk a single block. Some of those Lamberto Bava movies, the film was 90 minutes long and 88 minutes of just the zombie walking towards the main character from about thirty meters away.

The part about them just nodding, with no real ability to think independently, was very familiar if you have ever met environmentalists.

To hell with Africa. Let Africans take care of africans, they should have no problem with all the wealth and property they stole from whites they raped and murdered after apartheid. Time to cut these people loose and leave them to the fate they keep asking for - the right to be left alone. No more whitey to blame, let them fend for themselves and stop telling whites this is all their fault. Two hundred years of assistance and these assholes have never been able to run so much as an access road to remote regions. The few ones they have that work the Chinese built for them.

We have countless millions of children in the West who need our help, forget about these people. The charity pimps have been using them to leech funds off Westerners with their lies for two hundred years. Paleskins out of Africa, let them have the whole country at long last. I can't imagine a worse fate for them all.

Oh wait, I can imagine something even worse. Their new masters being the Chinese. Mr. Woo don't f*ck around, bro. He will be working you to the bone for pennies a month and you'll have to pry that pay out of him with a crowbar. You see, the new Chinese authorities do not have soft hearts and generous pocketbooks like evil ole whitey. They will tighten that ass up chop-chop in Freeka. Every cent they can squeeze until they drop and they will probably use you after you drop to sandbag earthworks. A brother be earning that dollar under Mr. Woo, you can be certain.

6 comments:

Solsys said...

HG Wells predicted zombies as far back as the 30's. The movie "Things to come" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Things_to_Come ) made after his book "the shape of things to come" has a "wandering sickness" that is incurable.

Although the afflicted are not aggressive or dangerous, they're still people you knew. It also has a sense of looming contagion, meaning you have to kill them eventually (or somebdy will).

Anonymous said...

New Zealand was discovered and colonized by Europeans hundreds of years before Christ:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/6624320/Egyptians-Greeks-came-to-New-Zealand-first-book

Anonymous said...

Those are pretty boring zombies.

ray said...

Mr Woo is hard to scroo

as for Africa, they should send it back to... uh

Anonymous said...

Guns that turn people into zombies:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2123415/Putin-targets-foes-zombie-gun-attack-victims-central-nervous-system.html

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:27,

AUT University professor Paul Moon says, "Oh snap, why didn't I think of this?"

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