Anything. Claim the Iranians are getting alien technology from Islamics from Venus. Just freeform gibberish pulled out of thin air will do. The Kwanstainian is too stupid to know that brawndo doesn't have what plants crave. Make up anything. If you say it on televitz, that proves it is true because it is on televitz.
Vault-Co means it. The entire planet has gone mad. Absolutely off the reservation, stark raving bonkers. I guess the transition the Mayans were told to record on their calendars was actually the end for a whole lot of human beings. Whatever it is, I don't think we come out of it with as many people as we had going into it.