Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Deepwater Is Becoming Lovecraftian Horror

Seriously, I wish Howard was here to see his most feverish nightmares coming true. It's like the well has released Cthulu himself from beneath the ocean floor. Every single thing that could have gone wrong here has gone wrong. This thing is rapidly becoming yet-another-extinction-event trigger ... as if there weren't enough of those floating around already, most of which we have elaborated on in the past decade on Vault-Co.

See why we have always called it The Apocalypse Trifecta? It would appear that God is amused by timing it all to happen at once. Now, as it turns out.

Ready for hurricane season ... a rain cocktail that kills on contact with humans

Toxins coming out of this hole passed safe margins a long time ago - the Gulf region is almost certain to become entirely uninhabitable at the very least.

The truth is nigh unspeakable about what is happening in the Gulf.

It's not an oil well built by humans any longer. It's a methane volcano that could no more be closed up than we could adjust the thermostat on the Sun.

Finally, as mentioned, there is a solid chance it will simply exterminate the lower righthand corner of North America in a single bright blast of methane and hydrogen sulfide ... the Lord God's ultimate fart joke on the Kwanstain. Pull my finger, Kwanzanians!


Anonymous said...

A man I worked with for over 25 years moved to Florida about a year and a half ago. He and his wife have a house just NE of Tampa. I met up with him at a wake last night for a mutual friend up here in New England. He is aware of the danger but put it off with the comment "Things like that aren't likely to happen" (referring to a methane explosion). And just to illustrate that God has a sense of humor, he then began talking about how awesome southern BBQ is, without realizing the irony. Z

Anonymous said...

And yet honestly, seemingly few care other than how this will effect price-o-gas.
Takes about 16 days or so before people start getting hungry enough to eat each other.
Less then 3 weeks.
Haven't thought about how long it would take before people start killing for water.
Does that happen?

Anonymous said...

I can't do math this tricky, "generation x" you know, is this a lot?

Anonymous said...

I know what Lovecraft would say;

"You couldn't make this stuff up"...