Thursday, November 19, 2009

Chinese Communists Claim They Change Solar Cycles And Cause Bread To Fall Butter Side Down

As Machiavelli pointed out, a wise regime even claims responsibility for disasters, because it continues to build the mythology of their complete power over the entire natural world. As Adam Sandler's mother said in THE WATERBOY, "Thomas Edison didn't invent electricity! I invented electricity!"

Otherwise the Chinese people might gradually start to figure out that their Communist leaders are really just pathetic losers who cannot get proper day jobs. No, by no means. We caused that heavy snow, to cure the drought. This reassures people that their government has it all in hand and that their taxes are well spent, on various schemes to give lips to chickens and figure out how to make toilet water go down the drain counterclockwise. At least Stalin spent the money on breeding super ape soldiers by making recruits have sex with monkeys. That's what I call intelligent application of public finances.

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