VAULT DWELLERS SERVED

Thursday, December 18, 2008

How Many Previous Nuclear Wars?

Me OGG!! OGG make'm fire! Ooga booga! Og bang stones together make'm sparks! Ooga booga!

Our primitive, crude and ignorant ancestors could barely remember to wipe after a #2, you see. Edjumifacation says it's true. Real civilization did not begin until Oprah Winfrey gave the first laundry machine away on her show.

I'll tell you the truth. This device may have been a handwound clockworks but I will say that it must have been an extension of an astronomical knowledge that would have required computers to accurately design a long time ago. The real origin of the clock's blueprints is unknown and it is possible they extend far back into antiquity, just like the Mayan stone calendar itself, which is a reproduction of some very important ideas about the heavens that are generally not found amongst stone-age savages eating human hearts. The Mayans copied their clock from somebody else's design and I believe this analog computer has the same lineage.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You underestimate these ancient peoples by claiming they could never have thought of the things they did. They were at least as intelligent as we are, so why is it so strange to think that an ancient Geek civilisation couldn't have figured out how astrology worked and build a machine such as this?

Texas Arcane said...

That was radical sarcasm. You get that quite a bit on Vault-Co. I was in fact highlighting the very point you made.

Our society tells us our ancestors were these crude ape like creatures who had just discovered fire - and yet they apparently could build analog clocks with accuracy as good or superior to modern computers in tracking multiple celestial motions.

My point was with my caveman satire is precisely that such ape hominids could not possibly have invented such devices.

Alex S said...

"...is it so strange to think that an ancient Geek civilisation couldn't have figured out how astrology worked .."

You mean there is something to work out about astrology??

Anonymous said...

Texas, I wasn't being sarcastic nor was I missing your point about our ancestors not being hairy primitives. In the post you point out that the Mayan and Greek knowledge could not have come from them originally because this would require far more advanced technology. My point was that by saying this you kinda underestimate them. Sorry if I wasn't that clear about it.

Anonymous said...

Mankind has had the mental capacity equal to today for a goodly 100,000 years, time enough to rise and fall several times.
According to some legends this is the fifth age of man I see no reason to doubt it.
When you think about it only a very small percentage of mankind can actually design/know how most modern stuff functions.
If the right 1% of the population was lost this whole civilization would collapse overnight down the gurgler to oblivion.

Anonymous said...

i dont understand why you people would say that..if you say they are our ancestor then i think they know as much as we do..they were very smart and strong. Even though they hardly clean up ..but look at the bright side they fought lions and animals just to survive..Now tell me would we do that?????

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