VAULT DWELLERS SERVED

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

God Drops The 'Kwanstain From Fall Lineup

"We've been growing apart for some time," said God in a street interview on Monday,"I've released them from their covenant with me for the land of milk and honey and I will be staging a graduated pullout of the Holy Spirit and all angels on duty there over the past 200 years. I believe the 'Kwa will be sourcing their protection internally in the future based on a strategy of hokum, hooey, confused solipsism and sheer desperation into the foreseeable future. They've been wanting to go off on their own for some time as a free agent so I'm cutting them loose. As you know, a host of imprecatory prayers from former fans has convinced me it was the right time to go our separate ways." Jesus Christ was unavailable for comment but he is said to be stricken with grief at the loss of so many who could have been saved.

Obama's Hug-A-Thug Policy Goes Into Immediate Effect

Left creates crisis, left creates solutions, left gains power It doesn't make sense. But then neither does the left.

Messianic movements almost always end in rivers of blood

Illegal immigrants all know that Obama will conduct the largest no-strings amnesty in U.S. history within a very, very short time frame

Ever notice that when you're listening to a "black man" and he actually makes some rational sense, he doesn't really seem that "black" anymore? He just seems like a person. The thing is, people have been trained by experience to expect any black man to be a communist moron. They're not all dumb. They're not all communists. If they were half as smart as this guy, I'd stop prejudging them based on the way they look.

Now please, somebody remember to turn out the lights and lock everything up, make sure the gas is turned off and the cat is out. She was a great nation in her day, wasn't she? Let's think of how beautiful the dream was while it lasted. It was truly the most wonderful of things that had ever happened in the sorry, sordid history of mankind other than Jesus himself.

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