VAULT DWELLERS SERVED

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Globowarmthenkers Are Cosmic Klowns Put Here To Make Us All Laugh

Read Robert Felix's inserted comments at Ice Age Now to see between the lines of this article.

If I have a frontal lobotomy can I get a career started as a climatologist? My first proposed study is to investigate how decomposing baby nappies in a landfill in North America can cause deepsea temperature increases on the floor of the Pacific and make the ocean become totally anaerobic in the short space of ten years. Please make that grant check out to "bearer" so I can find a co-signer and get it cashed across the street at the liquor store. It beats the hell of out working for a living. Plus I can pull winsome looking emo girls by telling them I'm a dedicated environmentalist fighting to "save this planet we all need, for future generations. By myself, if I have to, dammit." I'll arch my brow at the end of the sentence to try to look like a really dreamy idealist. I'm an edjumificated sensitive type and also like dogs and children and enjoy romantic walks on the beach. Saving whales n' stuff while making tie-die shirts out flotsam tampon remnants as I free gulls from fishing lines. Yessam. I used to have problems starting conversations with girls until I got onto this gobbler warmsink bandwagon. I don't know what the hell I'm really saying, to be honest, I just copy the other primates because it seems to end in sexual encounters and my teachers smile at me when I say the right magical phrases n'stuff. Truth is I barely even know where in the hell I am half the time. That's why I stick close behind Oprah and Dr. Phil's wake.

1 comment:

trueaim said...

'Saving whales n'stuff while making tie-dye shirts out of flotsam tampon remnants as I free gulls from fishing lines'
Permission to quote that Vault-Co, thats hilarious!
And yes its true, getting a frontal lobotomy will get you laid!

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