Monday, December 17, 2007

Potential Pandemics A'Poppin'

Ebola Outreach Strain Begins Production in Uganda

Bird Flu Flares Up in Asia and Pakistan

Stop sleeping beside your chickens, you dumbasses.

The global pandemic is so overdue it's ridiculous.

Imagine having to roll double snake-eyes every morning in order to eat breakfast. That's how much we're pushing the odds with six billion mobile sheeple and no pandemic yet. It's straining the bounds of nature's limits.

Sooner or later, probably sooner, we're going to get the Ebola 28-Days-Later style blood spitting fever right in the middle of a first world urban area before it can be quarantined. The whole idea of allowing people who still sleep beside farm animals at night and persist amongst the worst sanitary conditions you could conceive of to jump on airplanes and walk right into the first world unimpeded without a medical examination or quarantine may be seen in retrospect to be absolutely insane.

You should see what you have to go through to get a dog or cat into Australia. The dog has to go into quarantine for nine months but the human walks right down the loading ramp and coughs a big wad of phlegm on the nearest shopkeeper? That is utterly bonkers. It's raving mad!
(P.S. Resident Evil 5 is going to be the biggest selling computer game of all time. Although nobody will ever admit why.)

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