Yesterday an unknown person or persons ran over Texas Arcane as he was parked at a traffic light in a colossal monster truck with flames painted over the rims. Police have been unable to apprehend the driver as he fled at the scene.
Officers responding described it as "the worst traffic accident I have ever seen. This guy Texas Arcane had to be scooped into a bucket to get him out of the car, which had been crushed to the heighth of a shoebox."
Funeral services for Arcane will be held on Friday at Eternal Rest in Brisbane with a closed casket filled with foodsafe garbage bags of Arcane's remains.
Vault-Co will observe 24 hours of silence in remembrance of frequent correspondent Arcane and we hope that whoever perpetrated this crime will be caught or come forward.