Thursday, September 13, 2007

Prevert Palace Of The Damned

Remind me to never see another film with Eckhart in it. Pity, I liked him in "Thank You For Smoking" and a couple other films. If he's willing to do anything for money, he won't be getting any more of mine.

... but back to "Brokeback." Wow that was a lousy movie. That idiot Ang Lee just got another award of some kind. What a no-talent shlock artist. It's like Ed Woods from China.

When I sat down to "Brokeback" on cable, I was expecting it was going to be a brilliant piece of propaganda. I imagined something like The Misfits except better, with a man playing the role that Marilyn Monroe took. What I saw was the worst acting, most boring plot and most unlikable characters of any film in recent memory. I figured I would feel sorry for both these guys by the time the movie was over after all the hype. In fact, the biggest letdown was that Heath Ledger survived to the last frame, 'cuz his sociopathic woman-hating slurring butt-bandit character was the kind of punk you want to drag behind your truck even if he isn't gay.

If you have not seen it yet, don't bother. This is the plot : two slackjawed autistic halfwits meet regularly in the woods to bang each other in the hiney. That's it. There's no story development. Nothing happens. It's like Waiting For Godot with a gay porn theme. What kind of society gives a director an academy award for a movie like this? A very, very sick one. It was junk, irregardless of subject matter. Junk. Ang Lee got an Academy award 'cuz he's from China and his characters launch ass-attacks.

Many of you know I think M. Night Shymalayan is the greatest living director in the world. Why aren't they giving him an Academy Award? His movies kick the arse end off anything that Ang Lee has ever dreamed of making. If I pretend to be a handicapped Japanese lesbian and make my own movie about boody-bunging butthole surfers, can I have an Academy Award, too? It would look nice on my mantelpiece. If Ang Lee can get one, we all deserve one.

P.S. Did you catch "HULK?" Ang Lee's idea of a superhero film is long lingering shots of fungus growing on rocks and a climactic fight with his dad that has them uttering weird french postmodernist philosophy at one another. All form, no substance.

1 comment:

CadorBolin said...

I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain and I probably never will. Ang Lee's 'Hulk' was pure crap, and they're making another one that completely disregards any of the continuity or storyline established there.

Funny that this film was banned in the director's home country. Where is the bolshevik press in addressing this issue? Why is it that the feeble West must be reminded of it's racist, homophobic past at every single turn while those on the outside get a free pass?

No, I don't advocate that we bring kosher-style human rights activism to the Islamic and Asian world, I wouldn't even wish that on them.

Thomas Jefferson thought that cities were decadent in his day; I could imagine the horror he would go through if he could see them today.