VAULT DWELLERS SERVED

Sunday, September 30, 2007

More Billion Dollar Junk Science For Freeloaders

Missile defense is gay. It's for men who lack proper bass in their voice.

Civil Defense is for lantern-jawed strapping pulp fiction style he-men. It's sci-fi solid for two-fisted survivor types who intend seriously to outlast World War III.

Cowering under a gay missile shield will get your poor ass properly fricasseed by a couple thousand rads.

Civil Defense is for serious people. Missile defense is the preferred strategy for metrosexuals and guys who bend gender boundaries.

Missile defense is for those Tom Clancy readers who feel they understand what's going on in the world because they've read Tom Clancy novels. Actually, they're gay and they understand nothing at all. The real world is not a Tom Clancy novel. It's also not something to be held at an effete distance while you analyze it. At least not for much longer.

Civil Defense is a kind of scriptural humility in the face of what is a very crazy world filled with morons. It's the ultimate acceptance of your own mortality and recognition of the fragile nature of human existence. It's for men who can control a little bit around them instead of the kind of men who pretend "we're" all in "control" of everything.

Metrosexuals cling to the group believing it will save them and ridicule God. You want to ask if these Christopher Hitchens types have ever taken a good look at the group they worship in place of a God. Have they ever noticed it consists largely of morons and halfwits like themselves? Honestly think these metrosexual goofballs will ever get that missile defense working properly? They don't seem to be capable of doing anything right. I expect that whole Tom Clancy crowd of wannabes have a really rude surprise waiting for them in the near future.

P.S. Also, the Krapture, martial arts and spectator sports are all primarily gay. The only missile defense experiments I would be willing to fund would involve Tom Clancy, Steven Seagal and O.J. Simpson strapped to a rocket and fired into the Sun.

1 comment:

Joseph Dantes said...

I find it hilarious that anything that reduces the maximum amount of pain humanly possible is gay.

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