Sunday, September 2, 2007

The Dead Hand. The Cobalt Death Shroud.


We knew at Vault-Co they had built this thing, primarily out of fear of Reagan's increased spending in the '80's on his Star Wars programs.

We suspected it was still active. It would be the cheapest system to maintain when Russia went through her cash crunch years. We were right. It was never deactivated.

By the way, the doomsday device is only doomsday for those who have not prepared wisely. For Vault dwellers it's just an expected inconvenience. Like water off a duck's back.

If enough cobalt is lofted and dispersed to produce 10,000 rads an hour worldwide in almost any place the wind will reach, this will mean fresher breath and whiter teeth for Vault inhabitants during their five year stay. These kinds of bombs only kill people trying to shelter in their basement in between suitcases for two weeks.

Aren't you glad that Vault-Co has always advocated preparation with the Death Shroud firmly in mind? If you were listening, you are prepped to a sufficient level to survive it now.


Anonymous said...

Makes me want to download Dr. Strangelove.

Gives me a movie idea too;

"Texas Arcane; Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the rice".


Texas Arcane said...

This will mean naturally that the camper van commando strain of survivalism that is so popular in the United States is akin to madness. It's all derived from propaganda booklets in the 1950's telling people if they stayed out of the main airstreams they'd be just peachy.

Nuclear warfare has come a long, long way since 1955 and people will be playing for keepsies this time around. Every dirty element they can pack in a nosecone, they will.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but I doubt they will nuke the entire world. There would be no profit in it. Nothing left to conquer.

America is FUCKED. Australia probably too since they could become a threat against the ChiComs.

Europe will PROBABLY surrender and become a soviet-satelite state, struggling with their own internal civil wars. On big fucking yugoslavia.

Then again I could be wrong, which means I'm screwed :)


Anonymous said...

"Texas Arcane; Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the rice".


Oh, man, you should adopt this as Vault-Co's motto.

BTW: thanks for the hyperbolic irony of your post; if we fail to laugh a little at the issue, we'll just snap. It IS coming, surely enough, any moment now.