VAULT DWELLERS SERVED

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Walmart Closing Nationwide as Part of Obama "Recovery"

Shutting down due to plumbing issues. They couldn't pay the water bill.

The improvamentation proceeds apace.

Last man out of New York City please turn off the gas and lights and leave the keys under the door mat.

Everything I have read tells me that New York has gotten super improvamented since I left 25 years ago. The really hilarious part is that I have barely aged since then and most of the people I knew when I lived in New York city are clattering around retirement homes in Ziff Frames. Everybody else keeps shrinking but me I just keep getting bigger and more muscular all the time. Sucks not to be a Neanderthal but we are all victims of our circumstances. I was bothered last week when I did not get an erection for almost 8 hours. I heard that happens when you start to get old. My testosterone must have plummeted so that now it is only about 10 times that of most men. I had a day last year when I did not wake up alert and I almost had an anxiety attack. It turned out I just ate too much liquorice the day before. It was almost worth it. That liquorice was delicious.

United States is literally falling apart into rubble. Why does Russia need missiles? If it waits a little longer America will look post-nuclear anyway from natural forces. IDIOCRACY was never 500 years in the future. IDIOCRACY is right now for the Kwanstain.

8 comments:

bradfordmilesneumann said...

Do you have a picture of you with all this muscle?

btw, love the blog.

Texas Arcane said...

@bradfordmilesnewman

Do you mean nude?

Mex Arcane said...

@Texas Arcane
Of course he does. He's looking for proof of erectile function claims.

@bradfordmilesneumann
Just subscribe to Tex's Instagram account. That's what I do.

HalibetLector said...

I'd settle for blood work showing test levels. The sad part is if it showed normal levels, it would still be 10x higher than the average american man. But would it be 10x higher than the average american woman?

Ave said...

http://www.whatdoesitmean.com/index1861.htm

OK it's Sorcha Faal, which means that this is only for academic / purposes (mind candy of the wrong kind ;)

But when you connect this with : http://www.forbes.com/sites/retailwire/2013/05/31/sears-replaces-retail-stores-with-data-centers/

Then it appears that such a way of thought makes sense. In a way, Wal-Marts are highly standardized and thus can become elements of a "scalable" urban warfare logistic chain / command chain.

JeffreyJerpp said...

Tex,

*Tasteful* nudes, please.

Seriously though, I would be interested in seeing your bloodwork. As a 50ish year old neanderthal man, what does your metabolic panel, lipid panel, testosterone, estradiol etc. look like? Have you ever done trials with supplements and seen how it altered your health markers? Do you think neanderthals would have had more testosterone in the absolute, OR perhaps significantly more androgen receptors to interact with it? I understand these are wide ranging and semi-ridiculous questions but I am asking in earnest.

JJ

Texas Arcane said...

@JeffreyJerpp

I take two aspirin and a secret potion of amino acids and vitamins every night and have for two decades.

I guess you'd have to compare my experience with others on the same regimen to get any kind of objective picture.

All I can tell you is that as long as I get enough sleep, I seem to get younger, not older. My hair appears to be regaining its color and health since I began soaking it in castor oil last year. Most of my gray is vanishing lately. I know enough to know all of this is completely abnormal at 52.

It would be even funnier if my anti-aging powers turned out to be a direct result of my vitamin regimen since my co-workers have been telling me that stuff just goes out in my urine. Some of them are dead now. The ones who aren't look 52, not 16.

HalibetLector said...

Care to reveal your secret? Last I remember, it was Alpha Lipoleic Acid, niacin, Garlic, hydrogen peroxide in a vaporizer and brushing your teeth with baking soda. Soaking your hair in castor oil is new.

We support Ukraine and condemn war. Push Russian government to act against war. Be brave, vocal and show your support to Ukraine. Follow the latest news HERE