Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Whacky Kwanzanians 3rd World Circus Laff Riot

More and more news you hear out of the 'Kwa used to be the sort of stuff you'd expect to hear from some undeveloped government in Africa.

Apparently upon doing the first thorough inventory of their nuclear arsenal in ten years, the Kwandans have discovered thousands of sensitive nuclear components unaccounted for.

They've got the plans, so all they needed was the parts

If your little nation had the means to build a nuclear weapon and knew it might be the only defense against the Kwazy Kwanzan Invasion-Of-The-Week and you also knew that by adding 12 pounds of cobalt you could turn your little nuke into an area denial device for the entire Kwanzan army for a hundred miles, would you add 12 pounds of cobalt? Vault-Co figured out the correct answer to this question ten years ago.

Nobody puts Pandora back in the box. For any nation to consent to giving up their nukes in the current Kwanzific atmosphere would be tantamount to suicide. They'll stall but you'll never get a nation to the table if they have any sense.

Proliferation. It's what's for dinner. There's a strategy, however. It hasn't changed in sixty years. It's called civil defense.


Anonymous said...

I recieved one of these missiles through UPS, It's a shame really, because I was really waiting for that water purification plant I was expecting. Still, the thing looks kinda neat in the living room and makes a great footwarmer.

Texas Arcane said...

I have to wade through nosecones to get to the garage. Then there's that atomic pile I accidentally got that was supposed to be shipped to Libya. I forgot to call Federal Express to come back and pick it up. I'm thinking of using it as a planter.

Meanwhile on television, the supersleuths of the Pentagon float through a virtual reality world of holographs tracking down supervillains through the net. In real life, that same room at the Pentagon has a 95 year old janitor sitting by himself in the dark (lights burned out in 1983 and never got replaced) on a stack of teletype machines from 1954 and farting into a bottle.

Anonymous said...

"I have to wade through nosecones to get to the garage."

If this site had a forum this would be sig-worthy.